So i just turned 29 yesterday.. and i sit here looking back from where ive been, where i am and where i still dream to be... I feel that even though, i have a good career, my own house and truck, but then i feel that i could have and should have been able to obtain so much more by now. im not happy with where i am right now and there are so many things i want to change that i dnt know where to begin.. i want to lose weight bc even though om not huge.. im not where i want to be, i cant look in the morror and not feel ashamed. i want a house that i am proud of, and would welcome visitors, i want a job that i dnt have to stress daily on whether or not i will be able to cover all my debts, i would love to say that i was more of a people person and was able to bond with any and all people i meet.. and i damn sure would love to change my "personal" life.. being single for years now i feel a lot of pent up frustration and depression in the fact that i cant seem to find a single person that will fill a void in my heart. am i just that undesirable???
But then i look again and see that yes i have a job when many people dont.. i have a house when many people dont.. i have a vehicle when many people dont.. and even though i cant find love i have some great friends that care deeply for me.. and most importantly i have a beautiful daughter that unquestionabally loves me more than anybiody else in the world ever could. so am i really that deprived???
so as i gaze into the crystal ball for a glimpse of my future, i do dream that i am able to provide a more comfortable living environment for myself and daughter, i dream that i will FINALLY find a woman that will truly love me and want to be with me, I have to be thankfull for what i do have and hope that it gets better from here..
Finally someone who's 29. Can I believe you a question since you are only 8 mths older than me? Do you feel old? I have so many telling me oh you're old and had a friend today who had a birthday who says now they are old. "You're only as old as you feel." I dont feel old at all and noone ever believes when I tell them I'm 28. they take off like 10 yrs off which later on down the road that will be an excellent thing.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be blessed hun. You have alot of things I would like. A job. a car.
i feel a little of both.. sometimes i feel young and vibrant.. others i feel just beat down.. guess it mainly depends on whats going on around me..
ReplyDeletewhat makes you feel beat down?
ReplyDeletestress, general pains (i have bad knees) .. etc.. just normal everyday stuff
ReplyDelete